Breathe

Let's just say I could've used something like this to read weeks ago. Maybe it would've helped me get through everything faster, maybe I would've read it and not absorbed anything, like I usually do. I can relate to the third paragraph though, and I am starting to feel more at peace with everything. For the first time since I've been back up in Oregon, I hung out with my roommates and friends yesterday. I had been sick all weekend and isolated myself in my room, but when I had woken up I decided I was done hiding out. And for the first time in a long time, I laughed. A real, stomach hurting, tears falling from your face laugh, and it felt amazing. I realized how much I really missed these people, and how much I love them. I can tell this is going to be a great year, and even if it starts off bad, I have the power to change that. I alone can determine my outlook on what happens in life. I know I often say this, that I'll try to be more optimistic and deal with hardships better,  but after everything I went through this summer, I really think this is going to happen. I saw first hand that even though I felt like I fell really far off that horse, all it took was looking up to see that happiness wasn't out of reach again. This isn't to say I'm not going to have dark days, because I know I will, it's inevitable. But I will work damn hard to make sure they are few and far between. Because I deserve happiness, I deserve peace. And while this may be temporary, while I could wake up tomorrow feeling low and hopeless again, right now I can finally breathe.