Beautiful Disaster

I hate that the past is coming back to haunt me right now. I hate talking to certain people and feeling the sting of the pain I had felt way back when. I just want to move on with my life but for some reason everything I tried to run away from always catches up with me. Guess it's proof we can never escape.
I know I'm not the same girl, I know the reflection staring back at me is drastically different than it was 3 years ago, so why do I still ache inside? Just thinking about how things used to be, it's tearing me apart right now. Honestly, I don't know if this is something I'll ever get over; it cut me so deeply those five years, and I fear it's permanent. This doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it's numbing, & I hate myself for letting something this trivial bother me so much. I just want to be able to breathe deeply and feel okay with everything- I just want to forget.