The Story of US

...looks a lot like a tragedy now. Ever since Friday, I've been trying to be strong. I've been trying to say that I'll be okay, and that I'll work through this. But the truth is, I've been rushing myself into thinking that I'm over everything. I think we do this sometimes; we try to rush through the storm that we don't realize how many raindrops we're carrying with us. Then, we feel guilty when it starts to pour again because we said we were alright.  It doesn't matter how many songs I listen to about breaking up and moving on, it doesn't matter how many pictures I post about being strong or learning from the past- right now is right now. And right now, I am hurting. I've gotten pretty good at pushing aside the hurt during the day, but at night when I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, the flood gates open and I succumb to it all again.  I used to think this was a sign of weakness, but now I realize it's a sign of healing. I am not going to continue to tell myself that I'm completely fine when I'm not, because then I'm only lying to myself. I know that eventually I'll be alright, and that yes, every day I do get a bit stronger. But part of what hurts the most with all of this is that I am completely in the dark as to how you feel.  The last time I talked to you you told me you wouldn't be the same person. I'm not saying I expect you to be, but knowing you have changed, and will change, hurts. It makes me hesitant to talk to you again because I don't know who I'll be talking to; I know it won't be the boy who stole my heart. I wish so badly that I could talk to you, but making the first move is not something I think I should do. You chose to walk away, and I am going to respect that. I just hope that it won't get to the point where you've walked far enough away that I can't even see you anymore, because that will really kill me. I would absolutely hate to lose you out of my life, but if that's what needs to happen then so be it. I'll bounce back, I always do. Right now it's just a matter of braving the storm.

Taylor Swift- The Story of Us
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
And people would say, "They're the lucky ones".

I used to know my place was a spot next to you
Now I'm searchin' the room for an empty seat
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fallout
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up I can't break through

Now I'm standin' alone in a crowded room and we're not speakin'
And I'm dyin' to know, is it killin' you like it's killin' me, yeah
I don't know what to say,
Since the twist of fate when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
You see me nervously pulling at my clothes and tryin' to look busy
And you're doin' your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should've held me

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standin' alone in a crowded room and we're not speakin'
And I'm dyin' to know, is it killin' you like it's killin' me, yeah
I don't know what to say,
Since the twist of fate when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side

The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you say you'd rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standin' alone in a crowded room and we're not speakin'
And I'm dyin' to know, is it killin' you like it's killin' me, yeah
I don't know what to say,
Since the twist of fate when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now

And we're not speakin'
And I'm dyin' to know, is it killin' you like it's killin' me, yeah
I don't know what to say,
Since the twist of fate, 'cause we're going down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end.